Stella Says | April 10, 2021
Stella asked students via Instagram what they wanted advice on. Here are some of the things on students minds this week.
"I started dating my girlfriend about 3 months ago. Things have been going great! But she just told me that she has a pretty explicit only fans page. Am I wrong to feel weird about this? How should I tell her it makes me uncomfortable? Should I even do that?"
To me, it sounds like you need to discuss boundaries in your relationship. It is definitely not wrong for you to feel weird about the situation, however this does not mean your girlfriend has to stop doing her OnlyFans.
Although it makes you feel weird, talk to her about it to see what you could do to become less uncomfortable.
A simple discussion could clear all the discomfort you may have toward the situation.
If something makes you uncomfortable in a relationship, it's always good to talk about your feelings. If she is making money, and happy doing OnlyFans it is ultimately her choice. Every relationship faces bumps in the road where compromises are necessary to make it out of the rocky patch.
"It’s been really hard making friends in college while having social anxiety. I’ve joined clubs, Greek organizations, and am extremely active but I still feel really lonely. I speak with people every day and try to build deeper connections but it never really goes anywhere."
First things first, I want you to know you are not alone with this problem. Adapting to a new environment can be a challenge for anyone, especially during a pandemic.
You are doing awesome by getting out there and trying to make these deeper connections, however I think you need to find your niche on campus. I know you said you are active on campus, but are you doing things you genuinely enjoy? I think you should try to find similar interests with people you have been trying to build deeper connections with. People love finding similarities and connections when meeting new people, and plus it makes for good conversation starters.
I know it may feel discouraging now, but by staying persistent I am sure you will make the connections you want to.
Good Luck on finding your new way around and I know your true friendships are out there waiting
"Lack of romantic relationships."
Keep in mind that a romantic relationship will not give you happiness if you cannot find it within yourself.
You could download a dating app, however this is not always a sure place to find a romantic relationship. It is not impossible to find love on a dating app though.
You should look for people with similar interests as you. You can join more clubs on campus with stuff you like to do, you will find many people with similar unique interests like yourself. Not everybody is in a romantic relationship as a young adult, and when the time is right you will meet your person. COVID makes it harder to go out and mingle like we used to but do not give up hope, romance is not everything.
Sometimes love doesn’t find you, you have to find love yourself. Taking risks and shooting your shot can lead to a potential romantic relationship. If rejection is holding you back, I think you should remember rejection is not always as personal as it feels. Some people you will come across just are not looking for the same things as you.
Everything happens for a reason and love will come to you at the right time.
And if it doesn't, Meg thee Stallion would want you to have a hot girl summer, no matter who you are.